Easter is late this year, on April 24th. That means there is even more time to enjoy the delicious Easter candy that only comes around once a year!
Because a blog is basically a chance for me to force you to read my opinion about everything, I am going to tell you what I think of some popular Easter treats. This is strictly my opinion. I have a lifetime of experience having a sweet tooth, so I think my opinions are pretty valid.
Jelly Beans are an abomination. They are the worst candy ever created, and I hate them. The only good ones are the orange ones, and even they aren’t that great. They have a mealy texture, they have weird flavors (the black ones are terrible), and worst of all, NO CHOCOLATE. If it doesn’t have chocolate, then it’s crap! If I saw this in my Easter basket I would throw them away. Therefore, I give Jelly Beans a 0 out of 10 rating.
Peeps are fun to try out once a year. They are cute, adorable, and they look great. However, once you take a bite, you realize that cute isn’t going to cut it in the taste department. Peeps are too sweet, and yet they are bland at the same time. It has come to my attention that there are now Peeps that have chocolate on the bottom, so I might like those a lot more. I can eat one or two of them before I have had enough, so I’ll give them a 3 out of 10 rating.
I love Reese’s Cups, they are perfect. Especially if you get one right out of the freezer, and eat all the chocolate off of them first. The problem I have with the eggs is that the peanut butter/chocolate ratio is way off. There is way too much peanut butter. I am not a huge peanut butter fan, so a little goes a long way. (Have you figured out that I was a picky eater as a child yet?) I am going to rate these as a 6 out of 10, but the regular peanut butter cups are an 8 out of 10.
If someone gives me Russell Stover candies at Easter, then I know that they either don’t know me well or don’t love me. Russell Stover candy is horrible, and even if I got it for free, I would not eat it. I swear to God that it’s made of old shredded cardboard, insulation and boot scrapings. Never marry anyone who gives you this candy. My rating is 1 out of 10 because I will eat the coconut filled candies.
Cadbury is the best chocolate in the world. Yeah, I know, there are people who swear by those European chocolates, but to me, this is the best. Cadbury Mini Eggs are so great. They are better than m&m’s because they are bigger. The candy shell is crispy and sweet, and the chocolate is rich and velvety. It’s not too rich, though, which means I can eat most of the bag in one sitting. (Oops!) I will rate this a 9 out of 10 (minus one because they are too addictive haha!).
I know that I’ve sounded like a chocolate snob, so here it goes – I love cheap, crappy foil-covered chocolate eggs. The cheaper the better. I would rather have the really nasty ones than the Dove eggs. I think this is because when I was a child I ate a ton of these and so it takes me back to my white trash, suburban, insulated childhood. (Why anyone would be so nostalgic for a time they were so miserable is beyond me.) I also love that cheap chocolate gelt at Christmas (I know it’s a Hannukah candy but I was raised Catholic by a Jewish mother). I will rate these a 7 out of 10 but no one would agree with me.
I used to love the cheap chocolate bunnies, too. Then I tried a chocolate bunny from See’s candies. It was SOLID. I had always had the hollow kind (my parents were poor). Having a solid chocolate bunny transported me to a whole new level of Easter chocolate enjoyment. Once you go solid, you can never go back. Solid bunnies get a 10 out of 10, hollow bunnies get a 4 out of 10.
Cadbury Caramel Eggs? No, too typical. You can get chocolate and caramel anytime. Cadbury Orange Creme Eggs? HELL NO. Too sweet, and it doesn’t even taste like an orange, it has that artificial flavor. Cadbury Creme Eggs? YES, YES, YES!! I realize that it’s just chocolate and fondant, but it’s just SO HEAVENLY. I love to freeze these so the fondant isn’t goopy. Then I eat the chocolate all around the fondant, saving the “yolk” for last. Most people I know who hate Cadbury Eggs think they are too runny and goopy, so try freezing them and let me know what you think. I will rate these 10 out of 10 forever and ever, Amen.
Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think…