Your guide to Easter Candy

Easter is late this year, on April 24th.  That means there is even more time to enjoy the delicious Easter candy that only comes around once a year!

Because a blog is basically a chance for me to force you to read my opinion about everything, I am going to tell you what I think of some popular Easter treats.  This is strictly my opinion.  I have a lifetime of experience having a sweet tooth, so I think my opinions are pretty valid.

Jelly Beans

Jelly Beans are an abomination.  They are the worst candy ever created, and I hate them.  The only good ones are the orange ones, and even they aren’t that great.  They have a mealy texture, they have weird flavors (the black ones are terrible), and worst of all, NO CHOCOLATE.  If it doesn’t have chocolate, then it’s crap!  If I saw this in my Easter basket I would throw them away.  Therefore, I give Jelly Beans a 0 out of 10 rating.

Peeps

Peeps are fun to try out once a year.  They are cute, adorable, and they look great.  However, once you take a bite, you realize that cute isn’t going to cut it in the taste department.  Peeps are too sweet, and yet they are bland at the same time.  It has come to my attention that there are now Peeps that have chocolate on the bottom, so I might like those a lot more.  I can eat one or two of them before I have had enough, so I’ll give them a 3 out of 10 rating.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs

I love Reese’s Cups, they are perfect.  Especially if you get one right out of the freezer, and eat all the chocolate off of them first.  The problem I have with the eggs is that the peanut butter/chocolate ratio is way off.  There is way too much peanut butter.  I am not a huge peanut butter fan, so a little goes a long way.  (Have you figured out that I was a picky eater as a child yet?)  I am going to rate these as a 6 out of 10, but the regular peanut butter cups are an 8 out of 10.

Russell Stover candies

If someone gives me Russell Stover candies at Easter, then I know that they either don’t know me well or don’t love me.  Russell Stover candy is horrible, and even if I got it for free, I would not eat it.  I swear to God that it’s made of old shredded cardboard, insulation and boot scrapings.  Never marry anyone who gives you this candy.  My rating is 1 out of 10 because I will eat the coconut filled candies.

Cadbury Mini Eggs

Cadbury is the best chocolate in the world.  Yeah, I know, there are people who swear by those European chocolates, but to me, this is the best.  Cadbury Mini Eggs are so great.  They are better than m&m’s because they are bigger.  The candy shell is crispy and sweet, and the chocolate is rich and velvety.  It’s not too rich, though, which means I can eat most of the bag in one sitting.  (Oops!)  I will rate this a 9 out of 10 (minus one because they are too addictive haha!).

Foil-covered chocolate eggs

I know that I’ve sounded like a chocolate snob, so here it goes – I love cheap, crappy foil-covered chocolate eggs.  The cheaper the better.  I would rather have the really nasty ones than the Dove eggs.  I think this is because when I was a child I ate a ton of these and so it takes me back to my white trash, suburban, insulated childhood.  (Why anyone would be so nostalgic for a time they were so miserable is beyond me.)  I also love that cheap chocolate gelt at Christmas (I know it’s a  Hannukah candy but I was raised Catholic by a Jewish mother).  I will rate these a 7 out of 10 but no one would agree with me.

Chocolate Easter Bunnies

I used to love the cheap chocolate bunnies, too.  Then I tried a chocolate bunny from See’s candies.  It was SOLID.  I had always had the hollow kind (my parents were poor).  Having a solid chocolate bunny transported me to a whole new level of Easter chocolate enjoyment.  Once you go solid, you can never go back.  Solid bunnies get a 10 out of 10, hollow bunnies get a 4 out of 10.

Cadbury Creme Eggs

Cadbury Caramel Eggs?  No, too typical.  You can get chocolate and caramel anytime.  Cadbury Orange Creme Eggs?  HELL NO.  Too sweet, and it doesn’t even taste like an orange, it has that artificial flavor.  Cadbury Creme Eggs?  YES, YES, YES!!   I realize that it’s just chocolate and fondant, but it’s just SO HEAVENLY.  I love to freeze these so the fondant isn’t goopy.  Then I eat the chocolate all around the fondant, saving the “yolk” for last.  Most people I know who hate Cadbury Eggs think they are too runny and goopy, so try freezing them and let me know what you think.  I will rate these 10 out of 10 forever and ever, Amen.

Agree?  Disagree?   Let me know what you think…

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14 thoughts on “Your guide to Easter Candy

  1. hilary

    brach’s jelly beans are OK but the white ones are my favorite flavor. I don’t know anyone who eats the black ones except my mom but she likes black licorice (god only knows why).

    I secretly do like the tiny foil covered eggs too cos I feel like since they’re crappy you can eat a lot and it won’t be as bad.

    also YES creme eggs FOREVER. I love when the fondant inside is goopy.

    Reply
    1. mekkalekkah Post author

      We are like candy soul mates! The only reason I don’t like the fondant to be goopy is because it gets all over everything because I am a messy person.

      Reply
    2. Josselyn

      Just butting in here to say that I am a freakizoid who loves the black jelly beans. This rocks because 99.99% of people hate them and will freely give up their black jelly beans, even without demanding a candy trade. As a child, this was awesome.

      Reply
  2. gaminette

    Agree 100% on all of these! Well, except for the individually-wrapped-in-foil tiny chocolate eggs.

    I love white chocolate – the years I got solid white chocolate bunnies were happy years indeed! ^___^

    Reply
    1. mekkalekkah Post author

      I bet you can guess my feelings about white chocolate! It’s the antichrist of candy…heh heh. I just don’t like it…but that just means there is more for you!

      Reply
  3. Sarah

    “If it doesn’t have chocolate, then it’s crap!”

    So true, and this is why I’m not a fan of jelly beans!

    I agree about Peeps too. Microwaving them and watching as they get warped is good entertainment though, as I found out in my college days.

    What sets apart Cadbury caramel eggs for me is that there is so much caramel!

    This post is making me want to drive to the store right now and get some of these!

    Reply
    1. mekkalekkah Post author

      I’m not discounting your love of caramel Cadbury eggs, because I do understand the appeal, I’m just not a big caramel fan…

      Oh and yeah, I am totally craving those cheap-ass foil eggs SO BADLY. I am dying for them right now.

      Reply
  4. Mary

    I love Smucker’s Jelly Beans, they are the only jelly beans I’ll eat. The rest are waxy, mealy, crap.

    I guess I’m one of the weirdo’s that HATES Cadbury Creme Eggs. I scoop out the goop in the center and cram it full of peanut butter before I eat it.

    Reply
  5. Josselyn

    I…am a greedy pig. I love all Easter candy (except Russell Stover; I agree their candy is shit, but my parents never bought it so that was fine. Also white chocolate is gross…it’s not even chocolate!!! But again, I never got that shit in my Easter basket so it was okay).

    I even love black jelly beans and those malted eggs that no one ever likes. I can’t eat too much non-chocolate candy in one sitting though, because it’s pure sugar and I get sick and headachey.

    SOLID CHOCOLATE BUNNIES FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!1!!ELEVENTY-ONE!!1!

    Reply

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