It’s Valentine’s Day, and in honor of this special occasion, I am launching another regular feature of this blog, Mullets I have loved. Having grown up in the 80’s, there are so many mullets that have earned my affection, but I had to begin the series with the floppiest and most charming of all, Duran Duran’s John Taylor. (Yes, it’s another post about Duran Duran. I’m trying to get motivated to work on my book!)
If you think Bieber Fever is the most annoying trend of all time, you might not have been around for the Fab Five’s invasion of America. I am SO GLAD there was no Internet back in 1984. It’s bad enough that I saved all the stupid poems, letters and stories I wrote about Duran Duran, but it would be even worse if you could find them on a Google search.
I’m also so glad I never actually mailed them. Here’s a tiny sample of what a 14-year-old lovesick girl thought about John Taylor in 1984:
Mere words cannot express the feelings I have for you. You are my life, my hopes, my dreams, you are everything a girl could ever wish for in her wildest fantasies. To me, you are the most perfect creature in the entire cosmic universe. When God made you, He was doing the best job He had ever done before. You are a special human bieng (sic). I mean, being! Well, anyway, to me you seem to be the perfect specimen that God meant to make in the first place, but did not have the time for.
Yeah, I actually believe in God back then. To me, that’s the most ridiculous part of the letter! Also, it does make me feel slightly nauseous. I am sorry if it made you feel that way as well.
John Taylor’s mullet was spectacularly well-groomed. It was fluffy, floppy, and voluminous. The blonde bangs fell over his forehead in an angle that was calculated to make girls swoon.
I wasn’t the only one who fell victim to the power of the blonde bangs. Even Drew Barrymore had a John Taylor wish fulfillment fantasy. Since she was Drew Barrymore, she got to bring hers to the big screen. Yes, I am talking about Music and Lyrics.
Hugh Grant’s character was an 80’s superstar. He wasn’t the singer, but he was the heart throb of the band. Hugh is famous for his floppy hair, and they gave him an 80’s mullet in the flashbacks. Drew even admits to having a Duran Duran obsession! Case closed.
I can’t fault her for it, though. If I had the resources, I would totally have made my 1985 fanfic about me and JT into a movie. I was a Madonna type superstar (circa the bellybutton scandal era), and he was my mulleted sweetheart.
Again, so glad there was no internet in 1985.
John Taylor is a very nice guy. If you’re dying to send him a love letter after reading this post, you can follow him on twitter at @thisistherealJT. He still has a mullet, as well.
While writing this post, I had written a rant about how disappointed I was in the new Duran Duran album, but then I deleted it because I didn’t want to offend anyone. Then I remembered that the whole point of this blog is to say what’s on my mind, and not edit it! So here goes…
If you were a huge Duran Duran fan in the 1980’s, and you sort of forgot about them, then go ahead and get the new album because you will love it. If you were like me, and followed them even through the dark days of the late 1990’s, then you will realize this album is a calculated move, and that they are pandering to their fanbase of middle-aged housewives. It’s just another shrewd marketing angle for Duran Duran Incorporated. They don’t do anything out of passion anymore, they just do whatever they can to get a buck. Remember that album they did with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake? Please. I listened to the new album a few times when it first came out but I haven’t listened to it again. All they did was rip off their old riffs from the Rio album and vomit it back up into a new package for all of the fans to eat up yum yum yum, thank you sir may I have another? No thanks.